I felt lonely today for the first time in a very long while.
I'm probably just being a tad bit oversensitive or something, but it was weird. If I had to speculate, it would be a combination of things including (but not limited to) the following:
1. I found out today that my older brother is a student at Truett Seminary and has been attending classes here in Waco for almost a week. I have received no phone call from my brother asking me what's up or if I would like to go to lunch or anything like that. Seriously, what is that?
2. For the first time in about five years, I am completely romantically unattached. I'm not pursuing (nor even really that interested in) anybody at the moment, my last relationship came to an effective end almost three months ago, and this is just strange for me. I imagine that this is probably a healthy thing, I'm just not sure what to make of it at the moment. So there's that.
3. Within the space of fifteen minutes, I went from being at an emotional high to having the base of said high ripped out from underneath me. I got off stage after our band's After Dark audition, feeling absolutely spectacular about our audition, and then after Farris and I finished unloading stuff at my apartment I was completely alone. I figured I'd have no problem finding somebody to do something with, but everywhere I turned people were either a) in bed, b)talking to their girlfriends on the phone, or c) not answering their phones. So the combination of these individuals being unavailable, through no fault of their own, caused me to come to a point where I suddenly felt like I was completely devoid of real relationships with my friends.
Obviously, this isn't true. As was evidenced by Nick IMing me when I got back, Cozad coming and talking to me for a half an hour before going to bed, and a few other folks dropping me a line regarding my away message. I've got friends, for some reason I just only have a few that I feel like I can call up whenever and ask them to do stuff with me. And most of them wouldn't have been up for a late night drive-and-chat anyway, so I just happened to be out of luck on this one occasion. Moral of the story? I should probably stop whining.
Oh, and I almost died on Wednesday. Seriously.
Listening to - Evaporated by Tristan Prettyman
3 comments:
Hey bro! Don't feel alone! Even when you are alone, Jesus is right there with you. He's waiting for you to just say hey!
By the way, don't go dying us. Seriously. That would suck.
John,
I would love for you to call me and tell me about your near-death experience and maybe even share mine. But this isn't about me. I wish I could come hang out, but gas prices are what they are and there's the whole six hours away thing. Other than that I would so be there. We could go to lunch and talk about how Rob is being a jerkface. Welp, see ya later!
SERIOUSLY HOW WHY WHAT OH MY GOSH WHAT IS HAPPENING. I can't tell you to get out of my head because THIS IS YOUR HEAD SEVEN YEARS AGO WHAT IN THE WORLD.
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